– Transcript 80
R: Good evening. Welcome to absolute nothingness. I call this teaching absolute nothingness because we’re not trying to learn anything. It is a mistake to believe you have to learn something or that I can give you knowledge. The truth is you have to unlearn everything you’ve ever learnt and become no thing. When you are no thing, then you’re everything. So again, welcome to absolute nothingness.
The problem we have is that our head is filled with so called knowledge. Since we were born we have had materialism shoved down our throats. In the church, in the school, in the environment, and we think we’re something. But we’re absolute nothing.
It reminds me of this story. It was the high holy days, Yom Kippur, the Jewish holiday. And the rabbi was preparing by looking at the torah, the holy scrolls, and repenting. He beat his chest saying, “I am nothing, I am nothing, I am nothing.” The cantor happened to be there also. The cantor is the one who sings all the songs in the synagogue. He saw what the rabbi was doing, so he went next to him and also started to beat his chest saying, “I am nothing, I am nothing, I am nothing.” Then there was the janitor who saw everything going on. So the janitor dropped his broom and walked over and looked at the torah, started to beat his chest, “I am nothing, I am nothing.” The rabbi looked at the cantor and said “look, who thinks he is nothing.” (students laugh) And so it is with us. We hear about nothing but we’re filled with everything, and that’s the only problem we’ve got. If we were only able to empty our minds, and then get rid of the mind altogether, we’d really be something.
Anyway, I was walking in the park this morning like I usually do. I started speaking to a gentleman. He happened to be a Muktananda devotee. And he asked me to tell him the difference between Jnana Marga and kundalini shakti. Of course in reality none of them exist. By holding on to either one, it keeps you from becoming liberated. The idea is to let go of concepts and names and forms. But we had a discussion and I guess we’ll talk about that, since I can’t think of anything else to talk about.
What is kundalini shakti? They’re Sanskrit words, meaning the serpent power. It is said that when a person meditates intensely on shakti, or when one practices Tantric Yoga, the kundalini, the serpent power, begins to awaken at the base of the spine. Already you can see the fallacy of this, when something has to awaken in your spine. Your spine in reality does not exist, neither does your body. So how can something awaken in it? But nevertheless in all the kundalini books it tells you the same thing.The so called kundalini, which is like a serpent, begins to rise up the channel which is adjacent to the spine. As it touches each chakra, there are seven chakras, that part becomes enlightened. When it goes up to the crown chakra, on top of the head, the entire body becomes enlightened. That is called kundalini shakti.
How can a human body become enlightened? Jnana Marga is not any better or worse than kundalini shakti. I’m not trying to downgrade any teaching. All teachings are important. All teachers are important. Everything is unfolding as it should. Everything is in it’s right place. But how can a body develop powers, supernatural powers, and then you believe that’s enlightenment. What kundalini shakti does, supposedly does, when it reaches the crown chakra, supernatural powers are developed.
Yet I can truly tell you, when the Jnani has observed people with supernatural powers, they have not been very happy. They quarrel amongst themselves. It makes no difference what you can produce out of the air, it makes no difference if you can raise people from the dead. This has absolutely nothing to do with enlightenment. The reality of it is you are consciousness. You are absolute reality. Trying to develop powers holds you back. Trying to become famous inflates the ego. Trying to develop anything holds you back from really awakening.
Now let’s talk about you. Everyone has gone through many experiences in their lives. These experiences are good no matter how they may appear to you. I don’t care if it’s the most horrendous, horrible experience on earth. There is nothing wrong in the universe.
Whatever you’re going through is necessary for your next step of unfoldment. If you believe it’s bad, or there’s something wrong, then you continue in that state, and you never grow out of it.
Then it appears as if you leave your body, when it’s time to leave your body, and you go through it again somewhere else. You go through the experience again and again until you give up your attachment to it. It makes no difference what the experience is. The only thing that matters is how you react to the experience. The experience is very necessary or you would not be going through it. When you understand this, you can only be happy.
Do not compare yourself with anyone. Do not believe that fate has dealt you a bad card and that you’re suffering mentally, or physically, or financially, or otherwise, and saying “Why did this happen to me?” You are not to blame. You’re identifying with the world, with the body, with the mind. This is the only reason you believe you’re suffering.
No one really suffers.
If you really understood who you were, you would never believe that anything was wrong with your life. To believe something is wrong with your life is blasphemy. That is the only blasphemy that exists. When you believe you’re not in your right place. When you want to change. When you think somebody is doing something to you. When you have fears, that’s blasphemy. For what you are saying is this thing called God does not exist.
I use God synonymously with consciousness. You think God, consciousness, does not exist and that you have to struggle for yourself. You have to overcome burdens and you have to pay the price. Even the belief that it’s karmic is wrong. The best thing you can do is not react to anything, but to act from your heart with love, compassion, peace, and let the chips fall where they may.
As you begin not to react to conditions, you find that your thoughts become weaker and weaker. Your mind, which is merely a bundle of thoughts, wants you to react.
The greater the reaction, the stronger the mind. And the stronger the mind, the greater the Maya. You get pulled into the game.
When you stop reacting, the mind doesn’t like that. Therefore it will bring up all kinds of things. It’ll show you all kinds of pictures, make you feel all kinds of negative conditions, so that you will want to react. You therefore have to watch yourself, pay attention to yourself, watch how you react to conditions, watch the nature of your mind.
The nature of your mind is supposedly composed of three elements. These three elements are called gunas. There is the sattvic guna, which is purity. Those are the people who are filled with compassion, filled with peace, but it’s all part of your humanhood.
There is the rajas guna, which is action. Those are the people that are lawyers, doctors, Indian chiefs, workers. They have to keep acting all day long, doing things. And then there is the tamas quality of mind. The tamas quality is inertia. It’s the dark part of you, greed, selfishness and so forth. Most people are composed of all three of them.
The whole idea is to transcend your mind, kundalini, gunas, everything. Do not get involved in yoga practices. It keeps you earthbound. Get involved in trying to understand who you are. Try to realize that I have to experience the gunas, the kundalini, enlightenment. I want to experience these things. Focus on the I. The I who wants supernatural powers. The I who has problems. The I who can’t seem to get along. The I who believes something is wrong and something is right. Focus on the I. Who is the I? Where did the I come from? When you’re sleeping at night the I is not there, for you’re asleep, but something is still watching you sleep.
The kundalini people say that when the kundalini shakti travels to the head you become enlightened, but the Jnani sees it differently. The kundalini rises from the heart, from the right side of the chest and goes through a channel to the brain. But when it gets to the brain, this is not enlightenment. This is when you become aware of the world. You become aware of the body, and the mind phenomena. It is when the kundalini goes from the brain back to the heart, the spiritual heart center, that enlightenment comes.
So when you’re asleep, what you call the kundalini is in the heart, where it’s supposed to be. The kundalini is really the mind. It’s just another name for the mind. When you’re in deep sleep it rests in the heart where it’s supposed to be. But as you wake up in the morning, you become cognizant of I. That’s because instantaneously the mind, or the kundalini, or whatever you want to call it, rushes up to the brain, and that’s how you become conscious of the world. So the object is to cause the mind, what some people call the kundalini, to go back into the heart center, which is on the right side of the chest, and stay there. When that happens you are awake and liberated.
Therefore the best time to catch yourself is when you awaken in the morning. You should remember these things I tell you in the morning. As soon as you open your eyes, in that split second before you become cognizant of the world, the kundalini, the mind and the I, (and by the way they’re all synonymous, they’re all the same thing), is resting in the heart. Therefore the second that you open your eyes, you are enlightened, you are liberated, you have no problems, there is nothing wrong, all is well, just for a split second.
Then you spoil it, for you become aware of the world, and yourself, and your body. You say, “I am awake.” What has happened is in that split second, the I-thought, what some people call kundalini, some people call the mind, has risen to the brain. As soon as it merges with the brain, you become aware that you are a body and a mind. And then you become aware that there’s a world, and a universe, and a God and everything else. In other words your existence only remains because you have allowed the I to go to the brain.
Therefore atma-vichara, or self-inquiry, is simply to cause the I-thought to go back to the heart. And when it returns to the heart you become the Self once again, the Self that you always were. You become consciousness. You become pure awareness. You become your Self. And in that Self there is total emptiness, nirvana. There’s no mind, there’s no body, there’s only the pure, unadulterated Self. If only you were able to stay in that Self.
The only time you’re in the Self is when you were asleep. When you’re dreaming, the I is dreaming. When you’re awake, the I is awake. But when you’re sleeping, the I becomes the Self.
Why do you want to get into a state where you are the Self? Because in that state all is well. It is a state of total happiness, of total bliss, of total love. It is your true nature. It is what you really are.
Therefore again I remind you, the best time to become aware and practice is as soon as you open your eyes. You should immediately ask yourself, “Who am I?” As soon as you wake up. What you are saying is, “What is the source of the I? Where did the I come from, the I that tells me I am awake, I am the body, I am the mind, I see the world, I’m hungry, I’m getting dressed, I’m going to work? Where did that I come from?” Ask yourself. And follow the I. Imagine it going back to the source which is your spiritual heart. And simply inquire, “Who am I?” If you have to get up a half hour earlier, do so.
This is not meditation. Self-inquiry is not meditation. You are actively inquiring, “Who am I?” You are not meditating or concentrating on anything. Even when you follow the I-thought back to it’s source, you are not concentrating. You’re simply observing. You become aware of what you are doing. You say “Who am I?” and you wait. Then you say “Who am I?” again. You remain silent. “Who am I?” again. And now perhaps thoughts are trying to dominate you. Thoughts become stronger. Do not feel slighted. Simply ask yourself “To whom do these thoughts come?” and wait.
You will soon realize that I have these thoughts. We’re back to the I again. You inquire “Who am I?” and you wait in the silence. You ask again, “Who am I?” You wait. As thoughts come, you ask, “To whom do these thoughts come?” Makes no difference what the thoughts are. The practice is always the same.
Do not put a time limit on it. Do not keep thinking that you’re going to be late for work and you have to hurry. The time you spend in self-inquiry should be a time when you know the phone is not going to ring, you have time. Do not be hurried. When it’s time to get dressed, then get up, you can keep playing the game. You can ask yourself “Who’s getting dressed? I am? Who am I?”
Remember the reason you’re doing this is because in reality there is no one getting dressed, there is no body, there is no I, there’s no procedure. You’re therefore inquiring so you can come to this conclusion. When I tell you there is no body, there is no mind, there’s no world, there’s no universe, this is the Jnanis experience.
If you repeat this, and you say this to yourself, you can become disappointed sometimes. For when the vicissitudes of life hits you in the face and makes you sort of depressed. For you’re saying “I am consciousness. I am not the body. I am pure awareness,” but yet you seem to be going through problems. So it can make you give up the whole thing. This is not a procedure to take. The procedure to take is to admit nothing until you experience it, but to go in reverse. Instead of saying “I am consciousness,” you realize, if I find the source of I, then consciousness will present itself. You therefore work in transcending the I.
You can do this all day long. You’re eating breakfast, ask yourself “Who is eating breakfast? I am. Well, who am I?” and you keep silent. Whenever you say “Who am I?” you always keep silent. As other thoughts come to you, you again inquire, “To whom do these thoughts come? To me? Well, who am I?” Now you’re going to work or wherever you’re going. Even when you’re driving your car you can practice this. You don’t have to worry about going into a daze. It’s not like meditation. You are awake when you do this. You therefore can ask yourself, “Who is driving the car? I am. Who am I?” and you wait. “Who am I?” again. As thoughts come, you do the same thing. “To whom do these thoughts come?”
Then you get to the office. You’re going to find something very interesting happening. If you’ve been practicing these things all the way to work, you will find that you become happy and your work becomes more efficient. You’ll be able to do your work easier than you’ve ever done it before. It’s marvelous. It happens like that.
When you have time and you’re not concentrating on your work, ask yourself again, “Who works? I do. Who am I?” You do this all day long. When you go home, you’re eating supper, you ask yourself “Who eats supper? I do? Who am I?” As you’re going to sleep, you ask yourself “Who’s going to sleep? I am? Who am I?”
By the way, if you’ve got insomnia this is the best thing you can ever do for yourself. It’ll make you fall asleep right away.As you practice this way, something very interesting is going to transpire. As the days pass, as the weeks pass, you will notice that you’re asking the question less and less.
You’re saying “Who am I?’ and now five minutes pass, ten minutes pass, and there are no thoughts. In the effortless no-thought stage there is total happiness. You find you’re just happy for no reason at all. You can be going through the worst calamity physically, but yet you have a happiness you’ve never felt before. And your work is being done more efficiently. You’re no longer reacting to person, place or thing. You just feel good.
How long does it take before you become awakened and liberated?
This is determined by the effort you put into it. If you inquire only in the morning, you’ve got a long way to go. If you inquire all day long, you can never tell what’s going to happen, but I can assure you that your life will change drastically. It has to. You know why? Because you have no time to think of your problems. You have no time to think of the world. When your mind is not thinking of your problems or the world, it becomes weaker and weaker, and your problems become less and less important. You become a blissful, beautiful person.
You have to do it. I can lead you to the gold mine, but you have to do the digging.
I can share these things with you, but unless you do it yourself, you will never know that your real state of mind is consciousness. Your mind is really consciousness. You are pure awareness, absolute reality. You are Sat-Chit-Ananda. You were never born, you can never die. You will live forever, just as you are now, as the Self.
Prove this to yourself. Find out for yourself. Do not believe what I say. Do the practice and see what happens.
Questions?
(silence)
SU: When you say, “Who am I?” and then you remain silent and then at another time you say, “Follow the I back to the source?” Now I don’t understand what that means, “Follow the I back to the source.”
R: Actually, follow the I back to the source when thoughts invade your mind you ask, “To whom do these thoughts come?” They come to me. I feel these thoughts. Then you say, “Who am I?” then follow the I back to the source. You do this by focusing on the I, abiding in the I. You simply watch the I. By asking, “Who am I?” you are abiding in the I, it takes of itself. Just by inquiring, “Who am I?” You will notice that you become aware of the I and the source of the I is the spiritual heart center on the right side of the chest. The I goes back into the heart which is really consciousness. Pure awareness.
By inquiring, “Who am I?” You are following the I. That’s how you follow the I. It happens by itself. But then as the thoughts come in and interfere with the procedure that’s when you ask, “To whom do these thoughts come? They come to me.” Then you go right back to, “Then who am I?” and you’re following the I. It happens by itself. You will become cognizant of the I as you practice and you will feel the I going back into your chest where it’s supposed to be.
Keep it simple, uncomplicated. Do not attempt to analyze it. For when you analyze it you’re using your mind, analyzation makes the mind stronger. We’re trying to destroy the mind. Annihilate the thoughts. By asking, “Who am I?” The thoughts become annihilated in due time. Is that clear? (SU: It is, very clear.) R: That’s actually a good question. Many people who begin this practice always wonder, “How do I follow the I?” By asking, “Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? I - I.” And you will find that you’re actually following the I. Sometimes you can say, “I - I,” instead of “Who am I?” You can just repeat to yourself, “I - I, I - I, I - I, I - I,” it leads you to the same source. As most of you are aware self-inquiry is a procedure we use because you refuse to wake up. If you would only wake up you wouldn’t have to do all these things. And then you would laugh at yourself for thinking you have to do all these things. But you refuse to wake up. Why won’t you wake up?
For some strange reason you would prefer to identify with the world and all of the things of this world. With your body, with your affairs, that of course prevents you from waking up. Just let go and wake up and you’ll be home safe.
SH: Why is that preference so strong, that perverse preference?
R: This is what is called Maya the grand illusion. It appears to be strong. It’s like the water in the mirage. The water appears to be real, so the world appears to be strong and our thoughts appear to be strong. But emphasize the word appear. (SH: Really they aren’t though, they’re quite flimsy.) They don’t even exist. (SH: Well that makes them flimsy.) (laughs) Of course. But we think they do, so we have to use a method to get rid of them.
Simply be yourself. Take a deep breath and say, “I am.” And forget the whole thing.
Doesn’t that feel wonderful? Inhale deeply and say, “I,” and exhale and say, “am.” Don’t you feel good? That’s of course another exercise you can practice with your respiration. “I am.” If you keep yourself busy practicing these things I share with you, you will not have time to think of your problems and when you do not think of your problems they go away.
(long silence)
Om, shanti, shanti, shanti, shanti, om, peace.
Would you like to read the Jnani Mary?
Mary (SM): Yes, Robert. (R: Can you see?) Just about. (Mary reads the confessions of a Jnani) R: (After the reading) Thanks. (SM: Thank you Robert.) Jay were you going to do something? Tell us. We’ve got nowhere to go.
SH: Who wrote that, that Mary just read? (R: This body.) You?
R: Why don’t you explain what you’re doing.
Jay (SJ): Arty. Is it the formal tonight or tomorrow? (SL: Tomorrow.) But it may be starting tonight. This is celebrated to be the full moon of the guru…in July. So we’ll do a Artie.
(tape ends)
Absätze ohne Sprecherpräfix gehören dem zuletzt genannten Sprecher — so steht es im Buch, wo der Präfix nur den Anfang einer Rede markiert. Die Zuordnung ist eine Folgerung dieser Ausgabe. Namen in Klammern sind aus dem Text erschlossen: sicher belegt sind SM = Mary, SF = Fred, SJ = Jay, SC = Nate, wahrscheinlich SG = Glen, SR = Jorge. Alle anderen Kürzel bleiben stehen, weil der Beleg nicht trägt.