– Transcript 156
R: Good afternoon. Happy Memorial Day.
Memorial Day is not supposed to be happy, is it? I guess we worship dying people on Memorial Day. Why do we do this? Why do we worship the dead? After all who dies?
No one ever dies. What appears to be death doesn’t even exist. There’s only life, everlasting life, one life, and you are that. We, as human beings, have morbid ideas, the funerals we have, the worship of the dead. I guess it gives us something to do.
If there’s one thing you should always remember and never, never forget, it is that everlasting happiness and peace are your real nature. You are the embodiment of happiness and peace, and you compose the entire universe. There is nothing that takes place without your permission. The growth of a blade of grass, the formation of a cloud, all of these things happen with your permission. If you are in deep sleep none of these things are happening. Oh you may say they’re still going on, but not to you. When you are in deep sleep it is as if you’re dead. There’s absolutely nothing going on. But when you wake up, you say, I slept. It is the I that slept, not the real you, the I, that appears to sleep.
Happiness and peace are you, without any attachments. Pure essence. This essence is everywhere present. It is all pervading. It is pure awareness. It is in the trees, the flowers, the sky, and those things are within you. It is you who are all pervading, everywhere present at the same time.
This appears sort of strange to some of you, because you have believed you are a human being all of these years. You believe you’re separate, apart from everything, and because you believe you are apart from everything, you react to outside experiences. If something is nice, you react happy. If something is not too nice, you react with fear, anger.
Again, these things would not be there if it weren’t for you. They all emanate out of your mind. It is your mind that creates everything in this universe. Not you, but your mind.
If you understood this, you would never have to go anywhere, or run anywhere, or do anything, for there would be pure happiness, by just sitting by yourself, still. There are many beings in this world who can do this. They realize that they are the all pervading essence of life, the absolute reality, and they feel so happy, so peaceful, so loving, that there’s absolutely nothing they have to do to achieve these traits.
Anything you have to do in this world to bring you happiness does not last, for the world is a world of constant change. When you look to the world for your happiness, for your peace, for your harmony, you’re making a mistake. Look at this world. Is anything ever the same? Things appear, they stay for a while, and they go. Consequently, if you identify with the things of this world, you’ll be totally confused and confounded, for you’ll understand why things are like this. You own something, you lose it, it burns, disappears out of your life. You live with a person, they change, they leave. This is the way of this world.
But the question is, “Who are you and where do you belong?” As you go within yourself, as you begin to find the truth within yourself, something begins to flash in your mind, in the beginning, that tells you you are not the body and you are not the mind that you think with. Something begins to take over, something wonderful, something beautiful. You begin to feel feelings you never felt before. You begin to see things as your Self.
You’re never angry at anything, because if you’re angry at anything, you’re angry at yourself. If you hate anything, you hate yourself. Therefore you stop hating, you stop being angry, you stop judging, you stop criticizing. You leave everything alone. You no longer differentiate. You no longer say, “This is good and this is bad.” You leave it alone, period, without qualification. There’s no longer anything that’s bad, and there’s no longer anything that’s good. You see the world differently. It becomes a dream.
When you’re dreaming, the dream appears very real to you. Where does the dream come from? It comes out of your mind. Yet while you’re dreaming, you’ll swear the dream is real, the dream world that you’re in is valid, and no one can tell you otherwise. If you are in your dream, whatever you’re dreaming about, and I come over and I say, “You’re dreaming. This is all nonsense, it’s all a dream,” you’d laugh at me, you would look at me and say, “You’re crazy. Look. Look at everything.” You would even pinch me and say, “Can’t you feel this? How can it be a dream?” But you don’t realize it’s a dream pinch.
Everything is taking place in a dream, just like here.
Therefore, Sages have told us since the beginning of time, that this world is an illusion, this world is a dream, and the more you react to it, the further you get entangled in it. When you get entangled in it, you keep living for ever and ever in different bodies, different places, different things, and it never stops for you. You may believe you get old and die, then you take a rest and you reincarnate, then go through experiences again, and again, and again, until you start realizing that the whole thing is a dream, it is all a nonsense, I have absolutely nothing to do with this world, and you awaken to your true Self.
When you awaken to your true Self, this is the happiness and peace I was referring to. You will find such unalloyed happiness, and such ineffable peace. And there will be nobody to explain it, nobody within you or without you, for you will be it your Self.
Look at your life since you were born, the things you’ve gone through, the experiences you’ve had. You have goals. You want to reach certain goals in your life. Yet these goals won’t bring you happiness nor peace. For a time they’ll make you happier than you’ve been, because you’ve not experienced this before. So you feel good for a time. But then it changes, as all things must, and you become bewildered, disillusioned. Therefore the materialist never understands what life is all about, for they are steeped in the world of change.
To understand what the world is all about you have to understand what you are all about. What do you really know about yourself? You know that you exist, that’s for sure. No one can deny their own existence. Yet who is it that exists? Who are you? You say well I’m Jean, I’m Jane, I’m Mary, I’m Tony, and George. That’s not what you are. Those are the names that have been given to you at birth, and you’re not the same person you were when you were born. When you were born, you were a little boy or a little girl, a baby.
Then you grew up into a teenager. Then you became mature. Like the world, you are always changing, changing, changing. You’re never the same. So who are you? You can’t be the person that you answer to your name when your name is called, for that person is always changing.
The person of wisdom, the thinking person, begins to ponder these truths. “If I am not my body, that changed from a baby, to a teenager, to a mature person, then who am I?”
You begin to inquire within yourself. All of the answers are within you. You begin to ask yourself, “Who am I? Where did I come from?”
One day something interesting happens to you. You notice you’re asking the question, and every question has the I in it. You inquire, Who am I? Where did I come from?”
You begin to see that I is separate from you. I is the personal self. Then you follow this I to the heart center, where it dissolves, and you become consciousness, your real Self.
Whenever you think of yourself from now on, try to realize that you are not the I, the personal self, the I that speaks and says, I am sick, I am healthy, I am poor, I am rich, I am depressed, I am happy. You’re always using the first pronoun I. I, I. Think about this I.
It’s the beginning of all these problems, it’s responsible for everything that’s happened to you, good or bad. You want to get rid of it. And I, the ego, and the mind are the same thing. When the I disappears, the ego will disappear, and the mind will disappear, at the same time. What will be left? Pure awareness, absolute reality, nirvana, I am that I am.
This is totally different than your physical life and your physical appearance.
You begin the practice by sitting quietly, and as thoughts come into your mind, you inquire, “To whom do these thoughts come? Who thinks these thoughts?” No matter what the thoughts are, either they are good thoughts or bad thoughts, you inquire, “To whom do they come?” within yourself, you inquire. And the answer comes, “Why, I think these thoughts. I am the one thinking these thoughts.” Then you further inquire, “Then who am I? Who am I?” which means, “What is the source of the I? Where did this I come from?” You remain still. You never answer this question. As you remain still, thoughts will again come into your mind, for the mind is always thinking, thinking, thinking.
Try to remember also that there really is no mind. There is just the thought. We can say that the mind is really a conglomeration of thoughts about the past, worries about the future. This is all the mind is, thoughts. The thoughts are not your friend. The thoughts cause you to worry, to fear, to react. So you want to destroy these thoughts. The only way to destroy the thoughts is by obliterating the I, for it’s the I who thinks all these thoughts.
And this is the way to do it, by inquiring continuously, “To whom do these thoughts come? They come to me. I feel them. I think them. Then who is the I? Who am I? Where is the source of the I?” As you continue to do this, the I will one day vanish completely, disappear, and you will be free.
This is the main purpose for human existence. Your existence as a human being, so-to-speak, is to discover your real nature. You are not in this world to do the things that most of you are doing. The world deludes you. It makes you believe all kinds of things.
You appear to be here for one purpose only, and this is to discover your real nature, who you really are, to make you free and happy.
Yet we are brought up in a worldly society that cares very little about these things.
If you look at the world, the precarious condition the world is in, it’s always been a precarious condition, from the beginning of time. You’ll stop and think, “Do I really want to be a part of this world?” The world is a cosmic joke. You get involved in all sorts of things in this world, and you suffer accordingly.
Find out this truth. Only you can uncover it for yourself. Begin to practice within yourself. Do not just go along with life the way it appears, for it will drag you all over the place. You’ll go through all kinds of experiences, and you’ll believe your job is to change bad things into good things. You have your ideas of what bad things are, and you want to change them into good things. This is all a joke. For bad things to change into good things, and good things to change into bad things, it’s like a yo-yo. It goes up and down. There’s no solidness. Nothing to hang onto in this world. You’re like a leaf blowing in the wind.
You think you’re free, and your ego is big, and you feel that you can go into this world and do anything you like. But you’re always disappointed.
The only real happiness is within yourself. The only real peace is within yourself.
You have to find it. I can bring you to the vein of gold, but you have to dig for the gold yourself.
Now let us practice this self-inquiry together. As a group it becomes very easy for you. Just make yourself comfortable. Close your eyes, relax. As the thoughts come into your head, makes no difference what kind of thoughts they are. Ask yourself, “To whom do these thoughts come?” And then feel the answer, “Why these thoughts come to me. I’m thinking about these thoughts.” Ask further, “Who am I? Who is this me? Who thinks these thoughts?” and keep still.
Thoughts come again to your mind. Whatever they are makes no difference. You repeat the same thing again. “To whom do these thoughts come? They come to me. I think them. Then who am I?” As you continue to do this the thoughts will come to you less and less and you will feel greater and greater happiness and harmony.
So practice this by yourself now.
(long silence)
R: Time to play stump the guru. Somebody bring me my stumps.
Mary (SM): It doesn’t look like anything is in there Robert.
R: No questions. Emptiness. (laughter) (SH: We’ve made it.) (laughs) Feel free to ask anything or say something if you like. Make a personal statement.
Jorge (SR): I’ll make a statement, just correct me if I’m not seeing correctly. There is something of the I-thought that is also tempting. To get a glimpse of conveying some kind of understanding of the big guy, but it’s still churning through a bunch of prejudices and of feelings. So only a little bit comes out and it’s skewed and that doesn’t help me much in getting a feeling for the big guy. That is about all I can say. Looking into a peep hole and that is about all I can see.
R: Just be aware of what you see without any reaction. Observe your feelings and your emotions and your thoughts but don’t react to them. When I just observe without reacting, the mind becomes weaker, thoughts become weaker, the emotions become weaker and then the feelings will dissipate. So do not react to them and not think that they are meant for you to get rid of. Do not think that they are some power that you have to get rid of. You’re working in the illusion remember. It doesn’t exist to begin with. You observe them, watch them. Inquire, “To whom do they come? Where do they come from?” And they will go but do not react to that.
Anything you react to becomes more powerful. Therefore when you think your thoughts, your emotions, your feelings are real and there is something that you’ve got to do to find the big guy, like you say, you become more confused and confounded. There is nothing you have to find, there is no one you have to discover. You simply just have to allow that which is not real to disappear from your life. And again you do that by observing, by watching and by not reacting.
Glen (SG): Robert just little bit of confusion when you refer to the I - I? I’m not exactly sure what you mean by that? Why is it a double I, I - I?
R: I - I means “I am.” They’re the same thing. Just another way of putting it. “I am”
period. Not this, not that, just “I am.” I - I is the same thing. I - I. There is nothing else. I - I.
I - I - I. Ay, yai yai yai yai! (laughter)
SU: Robert I’d like to ask about meditation. (R: Umm) Is the I-am meditation that we just went through, I guess… (R: This is not the “I am” meditation, it is self-inquiry.) Well okay, the self-inquiry process. What is the difference between this process and meditation with a mantra? (R: Yes.) Which is more effective in terms of being able to annihilate the ego?
R: It depends on you, where you’re at. Self-inquiry is the highest ideal, it’s an ideal state. You don’t have to go within yourself or transcend anything. But some people need a mantra to make their mind one pointed. The mantra makes your mind one pointed when you’re having a lot of thoughts. It eventually leads to self-inquiry. (SU: Robert I’ve been practicing mantra meditation for 15 years and I have found that the self-inquiry process gave more effective experiences than the mantra, this is what I observed.) By all means practice it. This is why it’s more effective because you’ve been working on yourself for 15 years with a mantra. Whereas if a newcomer came in here self-inquiry would be sort of meaningless for him perhaps, would not have a hope in this. That is why it is said that self-inquiry is for mature souls. Because they have been practicing before, previous lives perhaps or their whole life here. Then you’re led to self-inquiry. So that’s why you like self-inquiry because you’ve earned it so-to-speak. You’ve been doing this for a long time. You’ve been doing mantras.
It’s like you’re going to school and you’re graduating. But everything is important.
SU: If you receive like a mantra from a teacher and you feel that you want to practice the self-inquiry process. Which would mean that you wouldn’t be emphasizing the meditation mantra or self-inquiry and wondering which course to take, it’s just based on how you feel and which is more comfortable for you.
R: In a way but it’s like mathematics. You learn the multiplication table, you go into long division, you go into algebra, calculus, it’s the same thing. You forget about practicing meditation and then you go higher and higher and higher you come to self-inquiry, and become the witness and then you simply be the self. So your heart will tell you which to do first. Listen to your heart and you will do whatever you have to do personally.
Everyone is totally different. So I never say that you have to do this only or have to do that only. It depends where you’re coming from. What your needs are. But you just said yourself that you’ve been practicing mantra for 15 years, now perhaps you’re graduating you’ve come to self-inquiry. So begin doing that.
Jorge (SR): Is there a state Robert where you kind of feel the presence of the “I-am” and yet your thoughts are still coming. It’s like living in two worlds at the same time.
R: If you actually felt the “I am” for real, the thoughts will not be there. They wouldn’t be there. (SR: Who is this phony “I-am” then?) You are just intellectually thinking about “I am.” That is why you can feel the thoughts and the “I am” both. When the real “I am” comes through, all thoughts have been transcended. There is no room for both. In reality there is only one I am and you are that. (SR: There is a light and a subtle energy expansion “I-am,” that is the kind of feeling I’ve got.) Those are good experiences, very high experiences. But when you go all the way and you finally transcend everything, there will only be “I am” no thoughts. (SR: I except that? I’m saying when a person is in that in between state,) Umm. (SR: How do you embrace one and kiss the other one goodbye?) You continue working on the yourself, you dive deeper into yourself. You dive deeper and deeper by inquiring, by observation, by witnessing. You dive deeper. You inquire, “To whom does the other come?”
And you’ll disappear.
Any announcements?
(Announced)
Any prashad?
R: It’s memorial day.
(general talk)
Thank you for coming. Remember to love yourself, to pray to yourself, to bow to yourself, to worship yourself. For God dwells in you as you. Peace.
(tape ends)
Absätze ohne Sprecherpräfix gehören dem zuletzt genannten Sprecher — so steht es im Buch, wo der Präfix nur den Anfang einer Rede markiert. Die Zuordnung ist eine Folgerung dieser Ausgabe. Namen in Klammern sind aus dem Text erschlossen: sicher belegt sind SM = Mary, SF = Fred, SJ = Jay, SC = Nate, wahrscheinlich SG = Glen, SR = Jorge. Alle anderen Kürzel bleiben stehen, weil der Beleg nicht trägt.