– Transcript 63
R: Greetings. It’s good to be with you again. It’s always a pleasure to be with you. I don’t know why? But it is. Because I’m with myself. The Self is all there is. So when you are with people of like mind you’re really with yourself.
It’s really interesting how many people want to be enlightened, to be self-realized and yet when you look into their lives, they put everything else first. By putting everything else first, I mean they worry about their jobs, about their families or about the world situation. They concern themselves about their happiness, about the future, about the past.
How can you possibly wake up when you have all these things on your mind?
And another thing that is funny to me is, all the holidays we take, vacations.
Someone called me the other day and asked me, “How much longer will it be before I awaken? And by the way, I’m going to Acapulco for a memorial day.”
Well this an enigma to me. I recall when I was about 13, 14, 15 years old I wanted this so much that I used to have to sneak out of the house to go listen to Joel Goldsmith speak, back in New York. And in the winter time I had to take a train and a bus and a train again. It took me about two and half hours to get downtown. But something in me was driving me toward spiritual people.
What I’m getting at is this: Whatever you put first in your life that’s what you ultimately become.
If you think your work is number one because that’s what supports you, you’re looking at this thing the wrong way. What supports you is the Self. Work is only one of the channels of the Self. If you know the Self you will always be taken care of because the Self is self-contained harmony and bliss. Therefore I should think your first obligation should be toward finding your Self or finding out who you really are.
What about vacations, holidays? Wherever you go you’ve got to take yourself with you. If you are a miserable person you’re going to take your misery wherever you go. The first day or so may seem as though you were taking a break from your everyday experiences. But soon you will find fault with the hotel you’re staying in, with the restaurant, with the food, with everybody because that is what you do when you are here.
It seems to me that if a person really wants to awaken they will put the teaching first. Now it makes no difference to me. I’m not saying this because I want to see you here all the time. As you know you’ve got the freedom to do what you like. I’d be the last one to tell you where to go or what to do. Sometimes I’d like to tell certain people where to go.
But you’re free to do what you like.You have to come to the conclusion of what I’m talking about by yourself. Something within you has to be so strong, you’ve always got spiritual life on your mind. Why do have to go anywhere? You are the universe. There is no place for you to go. After all you remember that the whole universe is an emanation of your own mind. You are creating the universe. Where do you have to go?
If you’re looking for happiness and peace, it’s right within you. If you’re looking for a change of environment, it’s right within you. Whatever you need is within you. There is no where you have to go for anything.
You have to ask yourself, how badly do I wish to awaken? And this will determine what you do.
When some of us are experiencing good karma, so-to-speak and we have the pleasures of life in this world, sometimes we go further away from spiritual life because we assume we’re happy. Since we have the so called good things of life. We have forgotten that everything is subject to change. Your fortune can end tomorrow. And even if it doesn’t you still become earth bound. So the next time around you will probably be a homeless person.
The universe is a cosmic joke. It plays games with you. It wants you to become attached to things. Your mind appears to be very strong. It will tell you all sorts of things to keep you attached. There are very few people who break out of it. In the Bhagavad-Gita it tells you, out of a thousand people, one searches for God. Out of a thousand who search one finds him. They are referring to the Self.
You cannot possibly find yourself when you are engrossed in the world. I’m not advocating that you become a hermit or a recluse. I’m simply saying, first things first.
Focus your attention on the Self, your body will take care of itself. Something will take care of your so called body. It will not starve. This something can take care of your body better than you can ever hope to. So you do not have to keep thinking about your affairs and your body and the world most of the time.
You must begin to understand that you are the only one who can dissolve the Maya and awaken to the truth of your being. You can tell where you’re at by what you do all day long. Just think about today, since you woke up this morning. How often did you think about your higher Self. How often did you practice self-inquiry. How often did you surrender completely. Not too much, you identified yourself with the worldly situation.
You identified with Maya. With things, with persons, with places and then you tell me I want to awaken. I want to become self-realized.
Of course the truth is that you’re already self-realized, you know that, but those are just words. What are you doing to prove it?
When you worry you’re moving away from self-realization. Even though you may believe that you’ve got something to worry about. It may appear very important to you, but from a higher standpoint there is absolutely nothing to worry about. Absolutely nothing to worry about. No matter how it may appear to you, at least realize that it is an appearance and that is how you see it from your viewpoint. Rise above it by asking, “To whom does it come? Who is experiencing this?”
When you have fear. Fear of any kind, you are pushing yourself away from liberation. What can you possibly fear, consciousness is all there is, consciousness is bliss. There is nothing else. The mind has invented the rest and causes you to fear. Hate, revenge, all these traits and even the good things, they’re two sides of the same coin.
I want to remind you that you are not trying to change bad human hood into good human hood. What you are trying to do is to transcend both. Everything will be all right if you stick to your sadhana. If you take time out to practice self-inquiry, or surrender, or just to sit in the silence. You can do these things while you are working. You really do not have to meditate formally.
So look at yourself and see what you’ve gone through just for today. Doubts, suspicions, apprehensions, mixed with feelings of ecstasy perhaps. Some joy here and there, some happiness here and there. You know the average person is happy when things go their way. When the world is turning the way they want it to. But that doesn’t last long.
Soon something comes along and things are no longer going their way. They become upset, confused, disillusioned.
Self-realization has absolutely nothing to do with the world. In other words it doesn’t matter what you’re going through. Whether your experience is sick or healthy, rich or poor, happy or sad, whatever. It has nothing to do with self-realization. Your reaction to those things either cause you to come closer to it or move you away from it, by your reaction to every experience. You have to handle every experience just the same.
Say you won the state lottery and you have sixty-million dollars. How many of you would say, “To whom does this come?” (students laugh) You only say it when there’s something wrong, right? For if something goes your way you forget all about it. And you’ll be on the next plane to Acapulco. Funny but true. How many of you would come back to Sunday celebration if you won sixty-million dollars in the state lottery?
Do you see how strong Maya is, it plays games with you. It makes you believe you need spiritual life when things are going wrong. To be born is a curse and all the experiences you are going through are because you were born. But isn’t it better to do what you have to do to awaken and get it over with? Instead of playing the game of karma and reincarnation and this and that, awaken!
Start to understand that I am not the body-mind phenomena. I am not the doer.
What comes to me is only an appearance of karma. But I am not that, whether it’s good or bad makes no difference. Who experiences karma? Who experiences human happiness and unhappiness? Who goes through these things? I do? The I is the answer of course. You have a personal identification with I. As long as you believe I exist as the body, I exist as the mind, you’ll suffer accordingly. Through all the experiences you go through, some will be good, some will be bad and you will have the yo-yo syndrome.One day you’ll have something good happen to you, next day something bad, something good will take place all week and something bad will take place for two weeks.
Something good will take place for three weeks. It’ll go up and down like a yo-yo. Wanting to extend your good experiences and eliminate the bad experiences.
Psychology will not help you. Psychiatry will not help you. Getting stoned out of your head will no help you. Liquor will not help you. Due to the fact that you’ve got to awaken from these experiences. All these psychological experiences end, then you’re back with yourself.
The only thing that will help is to find out from where the I comes from. Where does that first pronoun come from, I? It must come from myself when you start to think about it. For it doesn’t come from outside of me, due to the fact that every time I say I, I’m referring to myself.
But what self am I referring to?
When I say, “I am happy, I am sad, I am hungry, I am full.” Where does that I come from? Who gave it birth? What is its source? This procedure is called abiding in the I. You are tracing the I to its source by inquiring of yourself, “Where did it come from?” if you like, “Who am I?” This is abiding in the I.
You will soon discover that the I comes to life every morning as you awaken. The I comes to life and it becomes stronger as you go through the day. But if you abide in it, trace it and follow it you will realize that it really has no source. The I is like the water in a mirage. It appears to exist but it’s a non entity. You must discover this for yourself. It will be the greatest discovery you ever make. By discovering this you will have unbounded peace, unalloyed happiness, joy. Just by discovering the I has no source. It never existed.
You were never born and you can never go any where when you die. For there is no where to go.
You are that which has always been and which will always be. Sat-Chit-Ananda.
You are the ultimate Brahman, pure awareness. That is your true nature. That is you. Not the I. I’m speaking of the personal I. There is no I, but you have to find this out for yourself. This is why in the practice it is said to follow the I to the source which is the spiritual heart on the right side of your chest. When the I goes back into the spiritual heart, it’s the same as discovering that the water in the desert is a mirage. This awakens you. When you awaken everything is dissolved.
There is no longer a mind, so-to-speak. There is no longer a you or a me. There is no longer a universe or a world. There is no longer a question of liberation. There is no longer a question. For there is no one left to ask a question. There is no one left to have an experience. There is no one left to see the world. There is no one left to have a problem.
You become an embodiment of total joy. You actually do not become an embodiment of total joy because you never existed. Total joy just is. It isn’t this and it isn’t that. It just is.
So you see, there is really nothing you have to do, there is nothing you need, there is no place you have to go, there is no special book you have to read, there is no special
teacher you have to see, this is between you and yourself. The more you become enthused about the world and its conditions the more bound you become. Let go of everything. If it’s difficult for you to practice self-inquiry, surrender everything to your infinite Self.
In other words, let go of the responsibility. Give the responsibility to God. Who is none other than your own consciousness.
Do not think you’re so important that you have to overcome a problem. That is all you’re doing when you think you have a problem to overcome. It makes you feel important. I’ve got to solve this problem, I’ve got to overcome this situation. As if I is somebody important. I doesn’t exist. If I doesn’t exist neither does your problem.
You know by now that your problem exists because you believe in your I. When you realize I does not exist everything disappears. This is what I mean when I tell you sometimes, there are no problems, there never were any problems and there never will be any problems. But as soon as you begin to think there are problems.
Even while you’re sitting here listening to me, if you allow your mind to think doesn’t a problem come up in your life that you’re thinking about, that you think is so important at the present time? But if you were spontaneous and live in the eternal present, the eternal now, forget about the past, don’t worry about the future but live in this particular second, in this second there are no problems. If you can only stay in this split second, no one is hungry, no one is ill, no one is in need, no one is suffering.
As you begin to stay in that split second, this split second expands into a minute, into two minutes, into ten minutes and as you abide in it, it turns into eternity. You are always in that split second where nothing is happening. Where no thing is taking place.
That split second is bliss, pure intelligence, absolute reality and you are that.
So again, it begins when you get up in the morning. You observe the I. You watch yourself thinking I got up, I just woke up. But now here’s the catch, do not allow the I to go any further. As soon as you watch yourself saying, “I just woke up.” Try to catch yourself and ask yourself the question, “Who is the I that just woke up?” For in that split second prior to awakening you were in bliss, no thoughts. But as soon as you begin to think of the I, the world comes into play. In that split second before I came along you were awake. Yet there was no world, there were no people, there was no universe, there were no problems.
In that split second. But as soon as you began to think of I your troubles began. Because you’re thinking about the day, I’m hungry, I have to take a shower. I have to get dressed and I begins to do its mischief.
That is why it’s very important to observe the I coming out. If you can really observe it you will see that the I is coming out of your spiritual heart on the right side of your chest. But a funny thing will happen. As you observe it, it will go back, isn’t that interesting? As you observe the I or as you question it, “Where did the I come from?” It will stop. It will stop its procedure, it will stop its journey to the brain where you become body conscious. All these things happen in a split second. So you have to be aware, you have to be alert, you have to watch for it. I admit it takes some effort in the beginning but it’s well worth it. Think about this again.
Just before you awaken to the I, you are already awake in that split second. In that split second there is no world but you are awake, you are conscious, you’re totally happy, you’re totally self-realized in that split second. But then the I begins its journey from the heart to the brain. Now if you can observe the I and question its authority, it will lose its momentum and slow down. And begin to return to the heart.
If you can get it to return to the heart, you will be conscious but you will be liberated. You will go about your business like you always do. You will take your shower, you will eat your breakfast, it will all happen spontaneously. There will be no thoughts. The only experience you will have is total bliss. Total happiness, total joy and yet your body will go about it’s business. It can happen all at once or it can take time. But it’s worth the effort isn’t it? Even if it takes you a lifetime, at least you will be free at that time.
What is more important than this? Can anything be more important than this?
This guarantees that you do not return to this earth. It guarantees that while you are alive in your body, so-to-speak, you will be a jivan-mukta, self-realized in the body. This is your only salvation. But you’ve got to do it.
These teachings used to be handed out by the Rishis from mouth to mouth to explain it. It is most difficult to comprehend the books. Even though some of them are very clear…
(tape break then Robert continues)
…something within that knows what to do to make it happen. But if you try to understand with your brain, with your head, you will forget. And when tomorrow morning comes you will get up and your I will take over immediately. You will say I’m late for work, I’m in a hurry, I’m this and I’m that and you will forget everything we’re talking about this evening. But if you are listening with your heart, when tomorrow morning comes you will spontaneously be able to catch yourself.
I will repeat again how to do this. When you first open your eyes, in that split second you are conscious. The I has not risen yet, but remember it’s all happening in a second. So you’ve got to be aware, you’ve got to be awake, intelligent. Watch and you will notice that the I begins very faintly and becomes stronger. You can shout out, “Who are you?” That’s the same as saying, “Who am I?” Who gave you permission to awaken? Observe, watch. The I will begin to lose momentum. The I will become weaker and weaker.
The way it usually happens with people, with most people, is they’re able to catch it for maybe a few seconds and then the I will take over completely.
Do not be disappointed, that is the worst thing you can do. It has taken most people years, centuries perhaps to go all the way. Be happy with what you’ve got. But as you begin to do this practice diligently, everyday, that split second where you observe the I, will expand into a full second, into two-seconds, into three-seconds. In other words for those three-seconds you will be self-realized to an extent. You will be conscious, period.
You will not be conscious of this or that, you will be conscious. And you will feel something you never felt before, a joy. You will know you’re on the right track. Then when the I takes over completely you can get up and go about your business and ask yourself, “Who am I? What is the source of the I?” During the day as the thoughts come to you, be receptive, be alert, question, “To whom do these thoughts come?” They come to me, “Who’s me? Who am I? What is the source of the I?” Practice that all day. The next morning you do the same thing.
If you do this my friends I can assure you, things will begin to happen to you that you never dreamed possible. May you all experience bliss and your true Self.
Questions? Comments? Statements? Complaints?
SL: Can you achieve basically the same state as you’re falling asleep as when you’re waking up, which is…?
R: If you catch yourself before you fall asleep… (SL: So you sort of can?) You will watch the I going back into the heart. When you wake up the I comes out, when you to sleep the I subsides. Yes, you can do this, the only problem is, you’ll fall asleep. (SL: I’m going to wake up in the morning to try it.) When you wake up in the morning it will help because if you follow it during the night, before you fall asleep the searching will continue as you awaken. In other words it will be easier for you. If you’re watching a TV movie before you go to sleep this will be on your mind as you fall asleep and as you wake up you will be in a state of stupor and you will not be able to catch the I. But if you look for the I as you fall asleep and you watch it entering your heart, this by the way is good for insomnia for you will find you will fall asleep much faster as you watch the I subsiding into your heart. When you wake up it will be that much easier to continue watching the I arise.
So yes it’s a very good practice as you go to sleep.
Instead of thinking about your boyfriend or your love affair or the food that you just ate or anything else. If you simply observe the I. The way you do that as you’re talking to yourself and you’re thinking, “I’m tired,” observe the I as tired, “I’m sleepy,” the I is sleepy, “I can’t sleep,” the I can’t sleep. Just be aware what the I is doing. That is all you have to do and then as you continue to fall asleep, in that split second prior to falling asleep the I will disappear into the heart and again in that split second you will be self-realized, but then you will be asleep.
SL: Robert is it your influence that has made all of us so calm that we’re ready to go to sleep? (laughs) (R: Whatever.)
Glen (SG): What did you think of Joel Goldsmith?
R: I think he’s a great soul. I enjoyed him very much. Are you familiar with him?
(SG: Yeah. I like his books.) Joel Goldsmith was my first teacher I ever had. He was the one who encouraged me to go see Yogananda and Yogananda sent me to India. Everybody sends me away. (students laugh) I wonder what that means?
SH: And where did Ramana Maharshi send you?
R: He sent me into my Self. (SH: That is not away, that is home?) That’s right.SC: This entity that’s watching itself go to sleep or is telling itself, you make it sound like it’s a separation between watching myself going to sleep, telling myself I’m going to sleep. Is it the same I doing all this?
R: It is the same I yes, but you have not experienced that situation. So since you have not experienced the real I you have to use your mind to catch your mind. The mind is doing all these things. You’re using your mind to destroy itself and that is the procedure you use. Of course in reality there is only the Self. In reality everything I said tonight is nonsense, because none of it really exists. There is only consciousness, absolute reality, the Self. But those are only words if we’ve not experienced it. So there has to be a procedure for the ajnani to use to become awakened and that is the procedure.
SY: And how do you accomplish it during the day, when you’re working and living during the day?
R: You keep asking yourself, “To whom do these thoughts come?” Every time thoughts come into your mind whatever you think about, good or bad or indifferent. You keep inquiring, “To whom do they come?” It makes no difference how many times you have to do this. You simply keep inquiring. And you will notice as the days go by the inquiry comes less and less due to the fact the space in between thoughts becomes greater and greater. In other words you are thinking less and less. (SY: Does that hinder the everyday worker-world.) No, on the contrary, it makes the everyday worker-world better. For the universal presence takes over and causes your work to be more proficient. When you have to think as an ego about your work the ego has to learn about the work and the ego is very limited. But the universal from whence the work comes from anyway knows how to take care of itself. And will take better care of your work then you can do as an ego. Have no concern about this, you will find it’s true as you continue to practice.
SD: Robert have you not also said that in place of self-inquiry we can simply be the witness?
R: Yes, witnessing leads to self-inquiry. If you can just watch yourself. Watch the I at work, watch the I at play, watch yourself thinking, become the witness, the observer.
Finally the time will come when you have to ask the question, “Who is it that watches?
Who is the observer?” And that has to go also.
Glen (SG): It seems like this watching the I when you go to sleep has a way to tend to be a good way to die too wouldn’t it?
R: Well if you haven’t practiced prior to dying… (laughter) …when it comes time to die you will be in fear and you won’t be able to practice at that time. (SG: You should try to do it before hand trying out…) Of course try it out. (students laugh) Exactly. If you do it enough, you will realize nobody dies and that thought will be gone from your mind about dying. But if you wait for the last moment to start practicing it will never happen.
SK: In a way it’s kind of funny because we’re trying to get back into a state we never left and away from something that doesn’t exist.
R: Exactly. (laughter) (SK: It really has its comic aspect.) (laughter) It really does but why don’t you awaken now! And stop playing those games? Wake up! (pause) You refuse to wake up. If you will only wake up now everything else will become redundant.
SH: Why do we refuse to wake up?
R: Because you insist on playing karmic games. (SH: Pretending you are what you aren’t?) You want to play hide and seek. You want to hide your Self and think you have to go find it. (SH: It’s sort of stupid?) Of course. So awaken and stop being stupid. (SH: Thank you I will.) (students laugh)
Jorge (SR): Robert, the Self, the ultimate, created this game of hide and go seek though too, it or whatever it was had something in mind. It must have served some purpose otherwise it wouldn’t be?
R: On the contrary, the Self is self-contained absolute reality. It never did anything.
It only knows itself. What appears to be happening is a mirage. None of this is really happening. (SD: And who sees the mirage?) Whoever wants to see it. (SR: Where is the essence of the mirage and what’s its foundation?) What is the foundation of the water in the mirage?
When you see water in the desert what is its foundation? It doesn’t have any. It never existed. But once you realize it’s a mirage you will never be fooled again. For every time you pass it you will laugh you will say that doesn’t exist. It’s a lie. And so it is that this livingness is a lie. No thing exists as it appears. (SR: It must serve some purpose because there is so many I’s experiencing it?) It serves no purpose. There is no purpose for existence.
SY: Then why are we? (R: You’re not.)
Jorge (SR): Why aren’t we? (students laugh) (SY: Why is it so hard for us to understand it all?) R: For whom is it hard? You’re making it hard by believing you do not understand. But in reality you are already free. The best course of action to take of course is to be quiet. In the silence your freedom is revealed. But as you get attached to the world all kinds of questions arise and there is no end to it.
For instance, when you get involved in the world you say, “Why is a dog a dog?
Why is a cat a cat? Why is a tree a tree? Why is there a sky? Where is there grass? Why are there people? Why are there cockroaches?” It never ends. It’s like what came first the tree or the seed? There is no answer because it doesn’t exist, it’s like a dream. The dream doesn’t start with creation. It just begins. And then you wake up and the dream is over and so it is with this. When the bubble burst and you awaken you’ll be free.
SH: All a big put on, a big hoax?
R: Of course. (SH: Make believe?) It’s all make believe, it’s all hypnosis. (SH: As if.) Mesmerism. (SR: That’s deep, deep conditioning here.)
R: Well don’t agree with that too much because if yo think you’ve got deep, deep conditioning, then you will think you’ve got something to overcome that is hard. And will take you that much longer. Focus the attention on I and do not think how deep the conditioning is. For in reality there is no conditioning at all.SG: Robert it seems just to be the result of thinking and… (R: Of course.) …and obviously like the question — it seems that at one time I used to believe that my thinking ran the organism.
Now it seems that what the thinking does is it just makes predictions all the time. Like I predict I’ll scratch myself and that is fairly close, the prediction maybe close but the thinking is not running it, it’s just sort of making predictions?
R: Yes that’s true. Scratching yourself is karmic it’s preordained. (SG: And I think I’m going to scratch myself because that is relatively close, not past my nose it may be true but thinking what is going to happen an hour from now, I don’t know, but that’s just another projection?) Yes.
Jay (SJ): That’s creative thinking.
R: That’s creative thinking? (SJ: Yes.) Get rid of it. (laughter) SK: Sounds like, coming from here, peace on earth sounds next to impossible?
R: You’ve got it!
Jorge (SR): Do you suppose that this illusion will just sort of evaporate on its own someday, some time, some period?
R: There is no illusion that has to evaporate. It appears like that to you but it doesn’t exist. When you awaken you will realize that there never was an illusion. No one is asleep and no one is suffering. (SR: Do you suppose sometime in the future the game will be called off though? That no one has to wake up or do anything?) There is no game to be called off.
The game never began. If you believe a game began you would be looking for a time when it will be called off.
SH: It just plain isn’t there, it does not exist, period, full stop? (R: Right.) SR: It’s just a game because we think it’s a game?
R: Right, it all has to do with your thinking. (SR: Because we only exist because we think we exist.) Yes.
ST: So do we have to give up our awareness of the world?
R: You don’t have to give up anything. Everything will take place on its own. You merely have to follow the I and see where it came from. (ST: Then does awareness of the world continue without being aware?) There is no one left to be aware of the world. Yet your body will continue to function as long as it has to. (ST: Does one observe the world?) There is no one left to observe. (ST: Is there a conscious awareness of the world?) There is no one who is conscious to be aware. All these things are the ego that you are referring to. (ST: So one walks around the dark but everything is taken care of?) You do not walk around in the dark, you walk around in the light. (ST: Without seeing?) You see but not what you think you see.
It’s like the example I always give of the screen. There are images on the screen when you show a movie. When you become awakened you become like the screen. All the images are taking place on the screen. There is a beginning, there is a middle, there is an end. And no one is aware of the screen because they’re watching the movie. They’re identifying with the images. When the movie is over, only the screen is left. In the same instance, as you
awaken the universe is a superimposition on the Self. In other words you become aware that the whole universe is an image on yourself. You therefore see what everybody else sees except you’re aware of the reality.
SH: But you are still aware of the image also?
R: The image is there but it’s like an image in the reflection. You see the reflection but you are the mirror. So you see the world but as an imposition on yourself.
Jay (SJ): Sat-Chit-Ananda? (R: Same to you.) (laughter)
Glen (SG): When I ask myself, “Who these thoughts occur to?” it’s sort of like a stack of a stale sense of energy somewhere behind I, it’s very personal. It’s sort of like a stalemate or something because I don’t quite…
R: If a stalemate goes on you can do one of two things. You can become the observer of the stalemate and watch what is happening until it clears up or you can totally surrender everything to God and allow God to take care of the stalemate for you.
Jorge (SR): Robert, the ultimate is like a great void, soundless, colorless, sensation-less, I suppose on rolling, I’ll add possibly the feeling of bliss but it’s like a giant void where there is really nothing, nothing is going on.
R: How do you know? (SR: Pardon?) How do you know? (laughter) (SR: My mind is leading me to this state where there is nothing that is familiar. There is nothing that exists so there is a void.) Ask your mind, “To whom does this come?” (SR: Well that part I know, that it’s coming to the lie that I carry around.) For if you’ve reached the void you’re talking about the inner Self, the Self will pull you in. Will pull the mind right into the heart and you will be in bliss. The void is the step before realization. (SR: I guess the ego fights very hard. That’s what it feels like to me. It seems to really be put up a battle in clinging on to all the memories and dreams and aspirations, as it starts to suck in toward that point.) That may happen to you. It’s part of the samsaras, the hidden tendencies, the latent tendencies that have come with you from past lives perhaps. But as you become aware intelligently that none of that exists and that there is nothing to fight and nothing to fear and you just observe in a happy way what’s going on in your mind, your mind will become weaker and weaker until it gives all of that up.
SY: You said some people just move into the silence, just sitting smiling, not talking, happy. Are they in a certain state?
R: Who knows? There are a lot of people that sit and smile and they don’t talk and they are idiots. (laughter)
SH: You look to see whether they are drooling or not. (laughter) R: Don’t worry about others, work on yourself and free yourself.
Glen (SG): In psychology there is this whole idea of sudden reversal. Like you see a perception, it’s an old lady or it’s a young lady, there is a sudden reversal that the brain seems to do. It seems that enlightenment is the same sort of thing, where there is a reversal but it seems real and becomes unreal and what is unreal become real. Seems like there is a sort of a sudden process, sudden reversal that occurs. Is that…? (R: To an extent you can say that.) If that’s true then it doesn’t seem like a whole lot that you can do about it, I mean you can prepare yourself but either there is going to be the sudden reversal or there is not?
R: Do not try to figure it out. Do not analyze it. Whether it is a reversal or not reversal everything has to go. The idea of a reversal has to go. All of your ideas, all of your concepts they’ve all got to go. There has to be only silence, quietness and everything will take care of itself. If you think of all these psychological terms you will become totally confused. Let go of everything.
Jay (SJ): At the same time that concept points out, what do you call that? Predetermination, predestiny. (R: Um-hm. What about it?) His comment points out predestiny in a way. (R: True.) SG: Either there is going to be this reversal or it’s not. Whether it’s ready to happen, whether you’re in Acapulco or sitting in a monastery it’s going to happen.
Jay (SJ): It’s like when something gets so bad you start laughing. Something gets so intense, it blows it away and the illusion drops or whatever length of time.
Jorge (SR): When a person is self-realized a tremendous energy emanates from that source. When a person still thinks they are the mind or the body that tremendous energy is dammed up. What is there about this awareness that can release such fantastic energy and to flow out into the environment?
R: When you become awakened and you’re in a body. The body becomes a focal point of the universe and all of the energy of the universe flows through that body by itself. This is what is called grace. You become like a magnet for this energy. It comes by itself. (SR: It’s like the mind is like a barrier?) The mind is a barrier. (SR: It’s the wall, huh?) The mind has to be transcended, annihilated.
SH: By mind you refer to thinking process, to thoughts.
R: To thoughts, yes. (SH: No thoughts, no mind.) Exactly. The mind is simply a bundle of thoughts.
Now if you have trouble with anything I was talking about you can always revert to the I-am meditation. Which we will practice right now. So make yourself comfortable.
It’s better to close your eyes. First you become aware of your breathing. You observe yourself breathing. You sort of practice Vipassana meditation. You observe the feelings and sensations in your body and in your mind. You just watch.
(pause)
If you feel there is tension in your body, you simply observe that. By watching the tension it will go away. After your body is calm and relaxed you ask the question, “Who is the observer? Who is observing?” And the answer comes, “I am.” Now with your respiration, you practice “I Am.” As you inhale you say, “I,” as you exhale you say, “Am.”
(long silence)
(tape break then tape starts abruptly with Robert)
…our bhandara Sunday until about 5 or 6. The occasion is Ramana Maharshis’
Maha-Samadhi which was last month, so we’re a little late. But we’re always looking for a reason to celebrate, so we use that reason. Usually when you have a bhandara the purpose is to feed the poor. But since we can’t get the poor to climb up the hill here and I don’t think Henry wants the poor in the house anyway…
SH: It’s up to you Robert. If you can get them up here we’ll feed them.
R: We’ll let it go, bring a friend if you like, who is poor in spirit. And those of you who do not come on Sunday, you’re supposed to bring your favorite dish, meatless. Something you’d like to share with us. Like a cheesecake. (laughter) SJ: Like five cheesecakes.
R: From the cheesecake factory or whatever. Anything else you would like to add to that Mary?
Mary (SM): Ah yes, I know a lot of people have helped to print these transcripts up and we figured Sunday it’d kind of nice to get to be a lot of people here. So if I could get at least five more people to get ten copies of this particular one and we will give it to the community people that will be coming.
SL: Does anyone have a copy of Robert talking about his earlier life, I’ve always missed that one.
Mary (SM): I don’t know if we’ve made that one up yet?
Fred (SF): What tape is it, do you know the date?
Mary (SM): It’s quite a way back, I think I have…
R: That was when Ed was doing it.
Mary (SM): Yeah. When Ed was doing it.
SL: If somebody has one if you bring it I’ll copy it.
(tape ends)
Absätze ohne Sprecherpräfix gehören dem zuletzt genannten Sprecher — so steht es im Buch, wo der Präfix nur den Anfang einer Rede markiert. Die Zuordnung ist eine Folgerung dieser Ausgabe. Namen in Klammern sind aus dem Text erschlossen: sicher belegt sind SM = Mary, SF = Fred, SJ = Jay, SC = Nate, wahrscheinlich SG = Glen, SR = Jorge. Alle anderen Kürzel bleiben stehen, weil der Beleg nicht trägt.