– Transcript 64
R: Good afternoon. It’s good being with you again. Welcome to the Jnana Marga society. We have a nice crowd for a Memorial Day. I guess you didn’t have anywhere else to go. (laughter) Everyone is searching for happiness. Everyone wants happiness. Even the bank robber robs a bank because he believes that the results will bring him happiness. People get married, get divorced, have children, find certain jobs, believing this will bring them happiness. We have learned, as we go through the vicissitudes of life, that these things bring partial happiness.
Everything you do in this world is subject to the law of change. The wise person begins to see this at an early age and does not pursue the things of this world, but rather begins to try to understand him or her Self. “Who am I? Why was I born? What is the purpose of life?” As one begins to dwell on these things, the inner guru, the Self, will give you a push and you will find that you go towards a spiritual path. If you’re inclined by action, you will follow the Karma Yoga path. If your disposition is towards emotion, you will follow the bhakti path. If you lean towards intellectualism, you will follow the Jnani path.
The mistake most intellectuals make, when they begin to follow the Jnana Marga path, is that they believe if they study hard enough, if they read so many books, if they visit so many teachers, they will awaken. This is a grave error. Most intellectuals who follow Jnana Marga, unfortunately became very cynical, very cold, very arrogant. They stop caring. This is only in the beginning stages. They believe that they are absolute reality and they can do no wrong, and of course they fall flat on their face soon, and they develop humility.
If they keep on searching, if they are sincere in their heart, again the inner guru, the Self, will push them towards an outer guru. The outer guru may be a tree, a bird, a river, a mountain, or a person, but the true devotee does not care which one comes, as long as something comes. A true devotee surrenders completely to the will of God and turns within for peace, for happiness. A true devotee begins to understand that there’s only one life, one presence, one Self, and I am that. When I refer to I am, I’m not speaking of Robert.
I’m speaking of absolute reality, of consciousness, of Sat-Chit-Ananda.
Sat-Chit-Ananda is our true knowledge, our true being, our real Self. We believe we’re human, we go through life with problems. Some of us have material happiness, believing that’s enough. But, as we find out soon enough, there comes death in the family, sickness, lack. These things pass, and then, when you believe all is well, something happens again and you keep searching. You keep inquiring.
If you are sincere in your quest, you will find that all of a sudden happiness, bliss, joy, begin to become your friends. You put all your trust in the universal. You no longer look to the world for your good, for you begin to understand that the happiness you’ve been looking for, you already are, and the quest really begins. The yogas, prayers, meditations, are a way to come to reality, but the way to understand the Self is through self-inquiry, through atma-vichara.
If you’re fortunate, you start from the top in your spiritual quest. You start from the top by realizing there’s only that which has always been. There is only pure intelligence, absolute awareness. All the things I see, everything I behold, is the Self.
Something tells you that the whole universe is an emanation of your own mind.
When you sleep, the world disappears. When you dream, this world disappears. When you awaken, you are in this world, but the dream state and the deep sleep state have disappeared. You begin to wonder about this, and you say to yourself, “I slept, I dreamt, now I am awake.” Yet it is interesting to note that I was always present. I was present when you slept, when you dreamt, and now you’re awake. Who is this I and where did it come from?
Who is the witness called I?
As you begin to search for the truth of this, if you have been sincere in your quest, you will be led to a Master, a Sage, who will explain to you that the personal self is only a thought or an idea. It is called the I-thought. It is not real. It’s a thought. Where does it reside? In the spiritual heart center on the right side of your chest.
This is called the spiritual heart. It has nothing to with your physical heart, it has nothing to with your chakras. This is the abode of the Self, of consciousness, of reality. The I-thought appears to come out of reality and goes to the brain. Once it identifies with the brain you begin to say, “I am.” “I am this,” and “I am that.” When you form the I am, the world, the universe, becomes real. It has come out of you. Everything, the whole universe has come out of your mind. You have created it, and it appears real.
Therefore the Sage explains to you, the job you have is to trace the I-thought back to the heart. When the I-thought goes back into the heart center you will become liberated.
By liberation, it means you will see yourself as consciousness, and the whole world as a superimposition on your Self. You then begin to understand that human happiness ensues because the mind or the I-thought goes outward, creating all of the illusions of the world.
Everything in the world is transient, subject to the law of change. Therefore it cannot be real. What is real must be permanent, and that resides within you.
So you search for a method in order to trace the I back to its source. And the method given to you is to hold on to the I, to abide in the I, to trace it back into the spiritual heart. The way you do this is you inquire, “Who am I? To whom has the I come? What is the source of I?” When thoughts come into your mind, you simply inquire, “To whom has these thoughts come? Who’s doing the thinking? I am. Well, who am I?”
Automatically, as you keep practicing this process, you will find that things in this world become blissful, for you’re beginning to see through the illusion, you’re beginning to see through reality. You’re beginning to know that I am is really consciousness, self-contained absolute reality.
Months go by, perhaps years go by. You do not look for results. You carry on with the practice. You do not react to conditions. Your humanhood begins to melt. You continue to identify with the Self under all circumstances. The day will come when you are no longer a personality. You have become that which you’ve been seeking, and life becomes simple for you. You no longer struggle or fight for survival. All fear has left you. You have discovered you are not the body or the mind, and you are not the doer. This has all been surrendered to the Self. You have become free, no longer in bondage, absolute bliss. You understand all is well, and everything is unfolding as it should. You were never born.
There will never be a time when you die. You have risen. There is no longer anything you need to possess, there is no longer anything you need to own, yet you partake of all the good things of this world. You become satisfied, happy.
You cannot explain this, you cannot share it, but those who come into your presence feel the grace which is always available. Yet you do nothing. There is no one left to do anything. The I has been completely transcended. There is no individuality. There is perfect peace, always, unalloyed happiness, always the same, eternal, without modification.
Awaken to your Self.
What do you spend most of your time doing? You become what you do. If you spend your time inquiring, “Who am I? From whence does the I come?” you will one day awaken. If you spend your time relating to the world, reacting to conditions, having a mind filled with fears, superstitions, prejudices, nonsense, you will go on like this until you get old and drop your body, and you will be under the illusion of karma and reincarnation. You will appear to take on body, after body, after body, until you give up the belief that you are the body. Become free now. Do not resist.
(silence)
Om, shanti, shanti, shanti, om. Peace. Peace.
If you have any questions at this time you’d like to discuss or ask, or statements you wish to make, feel free to do so.
SZ: Sir, I’m a new comer here and I must ask you, are you speaking in metaphors? That I am to go to pick up because you make life sound like such a burden. And I look out this window at this beautiful illusion and I think that, that satisfies me. I need nothing more at this time this place.
I envision myself riding over those hills on my horse or taking a swim, well aware that everything we see is a pattern of imagery or particles in constant change. These trees are growing and decaying, growing and decaying, the waters flowing. Why should we look beyond that?
R: That’s a very good question. As you look at the trees, as you swim in the ocean, as you ride your horse, that is all well and good. But what if the horse trips and you break your legs? (SZ: That’s happened.) What if you walk down the hill and stumble and hit your head on a rock? And you go blind? Is that all there is? Is that it? When you look at the leaves when you look at the flowers, they last for a time and they die, just like the human body does. Therefore for every enjoyment there is an equal and opposite reaction. The way of this world is duality. If you experience one you have to experience the other. We seem to be happy at a time because things are going our way. We’re so called enjoying life as it appears. But then there is a war, or there is a death. Where something comes along and spoils the enjoyment. We then become disillusioned. For the thinking person the question arises there must be something else. This beauty that changes cannot be all that there is.
And we start to search within ourselves for that is where the answer lies. If we are sincere we begin to understand that there is a substratum of existence which is bliss and which makes this appearance of beauty seem like kindergarten.
The Rishis of old have told us this. Great Sages have taught this. Do not go after the beauty of the world for that only lasts for so long. Find the beauty within yourself.
Find the truth within yourself that is forever. The real beauty within yourself does not stop at death of the body. It’s a continuum, it’s forever. When you awaken you see the world as a superimposition on yourself that comes and goes.
Think of yourself as a chalkboard and someone is drawing all sorts of scenes on the chalkboard. Happy scenes, then they’re erased. Unhappy scenes, and they’re erased.
And this continues over and over again. But what happens to the chalkboard? Nothing, it remains forever the same. So it is with the Self. The Self is absolute consciousness. Pure awareness. Nirvana. Absolute reality. You are that, it is you. There is no coming and going, there is no change. If you touch a semblance of this in your heart you will feel such joy that you will search forever for the truth of your being and then you will truly find happiness.
SU: The bliss that you have as an experience you have in the body, the body is no different from anything else, I think we’re picking on it. (R: (Robert laughs)) SY: Please may you repeat the question?
R: She said she thinks we’re picking on the body. The bodies like everything else.
Which is quite true, the body is like everything else, it’s transient, it’s impermanent, it becomes old, you drop it and that is the end of that. So there must be something else for the thinking person. Umm?
SU: It does not keep you from awakening. It’s not the fault of the body we don’t awaken?
R: Only if you identify with the body and you believe your body is the permanent Self. That keeps you from awakening because you have chosen to believe that something that is transient, something that is never the same is reality. But how can anything that changes be reality? You are not the same person you were forty years ago. When you were born you were no larger than the size of a pinhead. When you were first conceived. And then you turned into a little girl and a young lady and you got married and you had children and you’ve gone through all kinds of experiences. Changing, changing, changing, never the same, how can this be real?
It stands to reason that that which is real must be eternal, permanent. So the body can never be your reality. Use your body for what it came here to do. You have your body in order to find yourself. To discover who you are. If you were a tree or an animal you would not be able to do this. But because you have a mind and a body or so it appears, you’re able to discover your true nature. So use your precious time to awaken. To realize the truth about yourself.
SS: What becomes of that inner core that you speak of? The real part of your being.
R: Nothing. It doesn’t become anything because it never was anything. (SS: Well it must be something?) It is not something. In our finite thinking we believe that everything must be something. That is our ego that tells us this. (SS: How do we grasp it?) By turning within yourself, by diving deep, deep within your heart. By inquiring, “Who am I?” By looking at your thought patterns and questioning, “To whom do these come?” Every time you have a thought, you ask, “To whom does this come?” It comes to me. “Who am I? Who is this me?” And as you question, “Who am I?” The space between the question will begin to grow and you will begin to experience moments of bliss, of total joy, total freedom, and they will go away. But once you experience, unless that touches you, that total bliss you will never go back to your humanity again. For you will want to taste this forever. (SS: Is that Self separate from yourself or herself?) No, it is your Self. What appears to be yourself is called Maya. It’s an illusion, it’s a thought, it’s an idea. It’s like the water in a mirage. When you see the water in a mirage it appears real. When you run over and try to grab it, you grab a handful of sand. But yet it appears real when you look at it. And so it is the body appears real when we look at it. But in reality it doesn’t exist. It never existed and neither does the world. It’s like a dream. When you have a dream, the dream has no beginning, no middle and no end. It doesn’t start from Adam and Eve. You just dream in parts and then you wake up. The difference between this life and a dream is that this life is a little longer.
That is how it appears. (SS: But is it practical?) Of course it’s practical? (SS: Umm?) It is, definitely. (SS: How can we at any time ignore the realities of this world we’re going to get run over at an intersection.) That is not going to happen because your body will take better care of itself than you could ever want it to. When you begin to search for yourself. When you begin to try to understand yourself your body is not going to go to sleep or become dull.
The same power that grows oranges on an orange tree, that grows wheat in the wheat field, will take care of you and will take care of your body.
Your work will be done better everything you do will be more efficient because you will no longer interfere with it. So you can keep your mind on God or your Self and your body will continue to do what it came here to do. Try it. You’ll be surprised.
Jorge (SR): Robert can I ask a theoretical question? (R: Of course.) This idea of this, no thing and it’s a mirage, which I try and grasp a lot and I kept thinking, if I come over and pull your ear and it hurts is that my illusion or is it yours?
R: Imagine you’re having a dream and we’re sitting here like this and you say, “Robert I’m going to come over and pull your ear.” (SR: I’m going to make it hurt though.) So it’s a dream hurt. It hurts in the dream. (SR: But it’s my dream?) You’re dreaming the dream that you’re coming over to pull my ear. (SR: How are you taking this?) I am part of your dream. So it hurts.
SU: But it’s hurting you?
R: Of course because I’m part of the dream. (SU: It’s your dream?) I am in the dream I am involved in the dream. (SU: But that’s your dream if it hurts you.) No it’s not my dream, he’s dreaming the dream there is only one dream. (SU: It doesn’t hurt?) It doesn’t hurt? (SU: Yeah, It doesn’t hurt his ear, it hurts yours.) Because he’s pulling my ear. (SU: It doesn’t hurt him it’s not his dream, it’s your dream.) I didn’t say it hurts him. Of course it hurts me because that’s part of his dream. And lets say you came over in the dream and said, “Bob your dreaming that you’re pulling Robert’s ear.” He would say, “No I’m not.”
And I would also say, “No I’m not,” because it hurts. So it’s not a dream but then he wakes up and it’s all gone. The whole thing was part of the dream.
Jorge (SR): How about if I pull my ear and it hurts me. How does that — what does that mean?
R: There is no difference, it doesn’t mean anything. You can be dreaming and shoot yourself in the dream, pull your ear in the dream, pulled somebody else’s hair in the dream. All that is going on in the dream but then you wake up. And so it is with this. Everything here seems to be real and some of us doubt, some of us are angry, some of us want to get even, some of us want to prove something. It’s all part of the mortal dream. One day you will awaken and it will all be over. (SR: Do you mind if I pull your ear?) Well no I don’t mind you can pull my ear. (laughter)
Glen (SG): Robert, well now who created this dream? (R: No one. It doesn’t exist.) (laughter) SH: Takes care of that. (laughs)
ST: Then what do we wake up to then?
R: You wake up to the Self that you are no thing. And that no thing is bliss consciousness. (ST: Then what do I need the body for and who gave me the body?) No one gave you the body and you don’t need the body. The body is an illusion it’s a thought. It’s an idea. It appears to be real, just like in the dream. (ST: Because of the pain feeling, feeling the pain and…) Whatever you feel, it makes no difference. You can feel happiness, you can feel pain, you can feel wonderful, you can feel anything it’s all part of the dream. But when you wake up it’s over. (ST: But what do you wake up to, that’s what throws me off like okay, I’m dreaming right now and lets say in my dream I see this room, I see everyone here, I smell the food and I look at the candles and the pictures in my dream. And then I wake up, what do I wake up to?) You wake up to bliss, to consciousness, to absolute reality. The finite cannot comprehend the infinite. The mind can only think so far. It is virtually impossible to explain what bliss really is. You will have to experience it through yourself. (ST: But does it come in little parts or does it come in a big chunk?) The true awakening comes all of a sudden. But prior to that there are little instigations. There are little realities that you begin to feel. That you know that there is something more vast and more beautiful then you could ever imagine. (ST: And then will it stay with you or will it leave you?) The real Self, the real bliss has always been
you. Therefore once you experience it, the you is gone and you have become reality. That is permanent. Once the I, the me, the you has been transcended there is no coming back you are free forever. (ST: With a body you can be free?) You no longer look at your body as a body. The body is simply a part of the superimposition that is on the Self. It is like the world. You still see the world, but you’re like a mirror and everything is a reflection. If you try to grab the reflection you grab the mirror. But you are the mirror, so you are the Self and you cannot be grabbed you are totally free, pure awareness and your troubles are over.
SU: How do we know the bliss isn’t part of the dream, what’s the difference? I mean the rest of it is okay too.
R: The difference is, when you awaken from your dream, you realize that the dream is over. In the same instance when you awaken to yourself… (SU: You could still be dreaming?) No, you know you’re the Self. When you awaken to your dream are you still dreaming? (SU: Yes I’ve awakened in my dream and I’m still dreaming.) When you woke up this morning and you had a dream last night, you weren’t still dreaming. (SU: No but I have had dreams where I awake in the dream but I did not awake.) Yes of course. But then when you woke up in the morning you were aware of your dream. (SU: Yeah how do we know that’s not another dream?) When you awaken to your Self there will only be the Self. There will no longer be dreams or a dreamer to have a dream. (SU: We don’t know that, you’re just telling us that.) Then experience it for yourself. (SU: So until we do we’re just taking your word for it.) Don’t take my word for it. I never told you to take my word for it. I usually tell you as you know in the beginning, “Do not believe a word I say.” Why should you? Have your own experience. Find out for yourself. (SU: I don’t know it?) Find out, practice. (SU: I do but I still don’t know for sure.) One day you will, never give up.
SY: If spirit never sleeps what is it that wakes up?
R: If spirit never sleeps what is it that wakes up? (SY: Um-hm. What is it that wakes up?) Nothing really wakes up because in reality nothing was ever asleep. We use these terms as a metaphor, sleeping, waking up. You are that Self that has always been and will always be and will never disappear. That is your reality. You never were asleep therefore you don’t have to wake up.
SB: Isn’t it the I-thought that wakes up, Robert in the morning?
R: The I-thought doesn’t wake up, the I-thought disappears. (SB: No I mean in the morning?) Oh when you wake up in the morning the I wakes up, the I comes out of your chest, your spiritual heart and begins to become the world your mind and the universe.
(SB: So it’s the mind that wakes up, the memory wakes up.) The I-thought appears to wake up…
(SB: Yeah.) …and that causes the world.
Do we have any announcements Ed?
(Announcements about format of bhandara (memorial day))SB: Robert when we ask, “Who am I?” And we stay silent we don’t try to answer it. (R: Yes.) Well what ensues then. Do you try to completely release everything into the silence, completely release our attention?
R: When you ask, “Who am I?” And you answer it, it is the ego answering. So in order to destroy the ego, you pose the question, and you wait, you pose the question, and you wait over and over again. You ask, “Who am I?” (SB: What if there is no thoughts to inquire of?) Then you keep still, you observe, you watch. The I will one day disappear. And when that happens, your true Self will shine forth abundantly. (SB: Do we try to release our attention from the brain?) No. (SB: Just completely let go and relax? Because I know from when I am silent that my attention instead of being focused kinds of falls down into the heart area.) It happens by itself. (SB: Yeah.) If you try you’ll keep it back. (SB: Yeah, just relax completely so there is no focus of attention at all.) Yes. You let go and then it happens. (SB: Then there is a sort of a pressure on the right side.) Yes. That’s good… (SB: That’s correct?) …that’s correct.
(announcements for satsangees about photos of Robert to buy then questions continue) SB: Robert what happens after that. After you let go and there is pressure on the right side. What do you do after that?
R: The inner Self is pulling your mind toward annihilation. And once your mind is annihilated you are your Self. So you simply observe, you watch and you do not react. If any thoughts come you ask, “To whom do they come?” And then you go back to, “Who am I?” And you let nature take its course. (SB: So the whole inquiry then is just to help you stop identifying with the I-thought and start identifying with this silence?) The whole inquiry is to destroy the mind. To destroy the I and the ego which are all the same. And as you continue to inquire the ego and the mind become smaller and smaller. Until they become completely annihilated. You’re doing well, keep it up.
SU: Did you say there — did I understand you — there is no dream to wake up from?
R: There is no dream to wake up from because you never dreamt. (SU: That means it’s all okay, huh?) Everything is okay just the way it is.
SH: Not only just the way it is but however it may go, with no exception. (R: Exactly.) It’s still okay, there isn’t anything except okay. (R: Right.) That’s far out. (R: That’s the way it is.)
Jay (SJ): People, come on up… (calling for people to eat)
(tape ends with chanting in the background)
Absätze ohne Sprecherpräfix gehören dem zuletzt genannten Sprecher — so steht es im Buch, wo der Präfix nur den Anfang einer Rede markiert. Die Zuordnung ist eine Folgerung dieser Ausgabe. Namen in Klammern sind aus dem Text erschlossen: sicher belegt sind SM = Mary, SF = Fred, SJ = Jay, SC = Nate, wahrscheinlich SG = Glen, SR = Jorge. Alle anderen Kürzel bleiben stehen, weil der Beleg nicht trägt.