– Transcript 176
R: I welcome you with all my heart. It’s good to be with you once again on this beautiful Sunday afternoon.
Many of us have the erroneous belief that if we get in a path sort of like this, Advaita Vedanta, we will become self-realized overnight. And as the days pass and as the weeks pass, the months pass we become sort of delusioned…disillusioned. We tend to give up thinking, “What’s the use? I have to go through another million lives before I become self-realized.” This is a wrong concept. Of course most of us understand that we are already liberated. We are already self-realized. And what we’re trying to do is simply let go of all of the concepts, the preconceived ideas, the habit patterns, the karmas, the samskaras. We have to let go of these things and so-called self-realization will shine all by itself. In other words there is really nothing we have to do except to quiet the mind. Do not allow your mind to tell you anything good or bad. Yet as we’re doing these things wonderful things do ensue on the path. We find that we become more peaceful. Fear leaves us.
The world doesn’t frighten us any longer. People have no hold on us. We obtain a certain amount of freedom even while we’re practicing the non-duality and this is what you should see in yourself.
You should ask yourself, “Do the things that really used to bother me previously still bother me? Do I still get angry as I used to do? Do I lose my temper? Become obnoxious?” If you see that you’re making improvement you’re doing the right things.
Forget about self-realization. Forget about becoming free, liberated. This is a fairy tale. There never was anybody who had to become liberated.
When we speak of words like liberation, pure awareness, the self. This is really the natural state. This is your svarupa, your reality. This is what you are and what you’ve always been and what you’ll always be and no one can ever change this. It is the superimpositions the images of the world the universe and your body that you have to deal with.
It is up to you to rid yourself of these attachments. To stop being hurtable. To stop crying in your beer or in your milk, whatever you drink. And stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Understand once and for all that you are in your right place, right now. Right this moment. You are where you belong right this second. You are where you’re supposed to be and there is absolutely nothing wrong anywhere. This sounds strange to some of you for I know that you can give me an entire litany of problems. Things that disturb you, things that are wrong in your life. But are these things really wrong in your life? Or is it you, your ego who thinks you should be living a certain way, with certain people in a certain country, having certain possessions? It is always you.
It is true when we look at this world and we observe man’s inhumanity to man we become sort of disappointed, discouraged. We say, “What is happening to this world?
What can I do to change it?” The only thing that you can really do in this world is to understand the truth about yourself.
This again is why people think that this path, Jnana Marga is sort of selfish. I’ve heard people say, “Those people think only of themselves. They only care about their own self-realization they’re not interested in the world. What’s going on with people.” Of course this is not true. For if you understand the self, the self is the self of all. The whole universe is the self. So certainly you don’t want to see things in the universe that are dastardly, horrible. Yet as long as you’re working from your ego, from your mind you will see such horrible things. But the secret is to realize who sees this. This is a great secret.
Who observes these things. Who sees these things that are so wrong and so dastardly. It is the ego. The mind that has been trained and brainwashed since you were a little person from previous lives and you are a conglomeration of all your thoughts, beliefs, dogmas, samskaras. That is all you are and nothing else. The idea is to let go of all of these things. To become nonjudgemental. To develop loving kindness. To look at everyone as yourself. Always remember there is one self and you are that self. In other words there is not me and you or you and the world. Peace comes when you realize that you are everything. Everything is you.
When there is no longer any separation you will feel peaceful. You will feel at ease.
But as long as you believe you are separate troubles ensue. For when you feel you’re separate you believe someone has power over you. Someone can hurt you or do something to you, someone can cheat you. Take away your possessions. Do something to you. But when you realize the truth about yourself. When you realize that whatever your are doing to someone else you’re doing to yourself how can you possibly hurt anyone. For you realize you are they. When you help the homeless you’re helping yourself. When you help anyone in strife, distress you’re helping yourself. Whatever you’re giving to anybody else you’re only giving to yourself. This is a hard lesson for most of us to learn because we feel separate.
When you see a homeless person on the street most of you think, “Poor guy I’m glad I’m not like that. I’m glad I have this nice car to drive and a home to live in and food to eat. I feel sorry for that person but I’m glad I’m not that person.” In truth is you are that person. That person is you all this is going on within you and your beliefs, your thoughts simply are about yourself. Everything that you think about others is about yourself. For there is only the one self and we are all that self. So the beginning of wisdom is when you stop seeing the world as separate from yourself. For you begin seeing yourself as all, as everything. Then you will inquire, “Then to whom do these things come?” In other words then who is seeing these things, who is feeling these things? And one day you will realize
it is the I. “I feel these things. I see these things. I feel hurt. I feel confused. I feel upset. But what is this I? And where did it come from?” You will begin to understand that by only getting rid of this I you will become free. It is the I that is giving you all of this trouble over these years. Not the condition that you behold. Not other people. Not other places and persons and things. It is the I that has caused you all of the problems in your life.
You say, “I see this. I do not like this. I hate this. But I like this.” Notice it’s always the I. It is always the I that is interfering with you. If there were no I would you be able to say these things. There would be no one to say, “I like this or I hate this,” would there? The only reason you are able to make these remarks is because you use the pronoun I but if the I disappeared from your life what would you say? IT would be ridiculous to say, “Hate this. Like this. No good. Good. Bad,” for there would be no I.
Therefore it wouldn’t make sense when you say things like this. This means you would automatically stop saying these things and you would automatically turn within. If the I disappeared you would turn within to the self. There would no I to interfere and then you would be in your right place. You’re always in your right place but what I mean is you will be in a realization place, a liberation place, no place, emptiness, nirvana. Nirvana is God. effortless, choice-less, pure awareness is God.
Yet where is this God? What is this God? This God is the substratum of all existence and what we call God is the absolute reality which we call perfection. So how can there be sickness and strife and lack and limitation when the substratum of all existence is what we call God, the absolute reality? In truth those things do not exist. That’s right I’m telling you that sickness, lack, limitation, man’s inhumanity to man does not even exist. It is the I that believes it exists. Don’t you see? It is the I that you have been believing in all of these years. That believes it sees as sick person or has a sick body or a body that is lacking something or a world that’s in pain. It is the I that makes you feel this.
I cannot emphasize this often enough. If you had no I you would be free and happy all the time. After all what is happiness? Happiness is when you’re free from pain, from distress, from disease, from lack, from limitation, from all these people that make you unhappy. But it only the I that identifies with these things. Try to get this picture. If there were no I there would be no identification with these things so it wouldn’t happen to you.
When I say, “it wouldn’t happen to you,” I do not mean you would be free from all of these things. These things would appear to be happening to the world and to your body just like they are now. Do not think that when you become self-realized that you will see a different world. There is no different world. The world will be just like it is. Your body will be just like it is. But to you the liberated one will not see this or feel this or go through anything. This is something you have to think about. What I am saying, if you are liberated and you see a sick person dying who just got hit by a car, the sick person who is dying, you will see this but you will not see this. You will see it on one instance and you will not see it on another instance. This is sort of difficult to comprehend. How can I see it and yet not see it.
We go back of the illustration of the chalkboard. The chalkboard is covered with all kinds of figures, images, people dying, people laughing, babies being born, traveling in airplanes all of these images are on the chalkboard. But the chalkboard is totally free and undisturbed. Nothing is happening to this chalkboard. Then you erase the figures and put new figures on the chalkboard yet nothing happening to the chalkboard. The images are merely superimpositions on the chalkboard.
And so it is with us. When we become liberated the game of life as it appears to you right now takes place on your consciousness. Yet you are pure consciousness itself. So you know the things are there but at the same time you do not know the things are there, confusing isn’t it? We can never understand the infinite with our finite mind for we’re programmed to see things a certain way, to believe things are a certain way. And we’re going out of our dimension when we try to think this way. But yet this kind of thinking will come to you by itself. Where you can observe a dying person and see only eternal life or you can look at yourself, you maybe dying from a disease but who is the you that is dying? Who is the person dying? That person has disappeared. That person has become the self. The imperishable self.
You will not have to think about this. You will not even think about dying or living or any of the things I’m talking about. I am using words right now to try to convey to you a message which is virtually impossible to comprehend, to convey. That you are eternal life. You were never born you can never die and you never prevail in between. There is no you as you appear. You do not exist. You never existed. You are a nonentity. A good for nothing.
Yet something in you is fighting this. There is something in you that is saying this is impossible. I feel hurt. I feel depressed. I feel this way and I feel that way. Sometimes I feel happy, sometimes I feel wonderful. Do you see what you’re doing right now you’re going back to the I aren’t you? Don’t you see the problem? Can’t you see what you’re doing? You’re going back to the I. After all that has been said and done you’re going back to the I. You’re saying, “I don’t feel the truth. I’m not feeling what Robert is saying because it sounds impossible.” You didn’t say that I did. Not I Robert but I, I. Do you see? You are totally free. If you only got rid of the God damn I. The I has been giving you all these troubles you keep saying I, I, I. How long will you go on this way?
The time has to come in your life when you begin to understand that I has never existed and I will never exist. This is the reason we practice atma-vichara, self-inquiry.
This is the only reason we practice this because the more you practice this the more you will not get caught up in the I. Now you know that the only thing you have to do is to remove the I from your life and you will be totally liberated.
Try tomorrow not saying “I’ for the whole day. See if you can do this. Most of you will not be able to have a conversation. You will have absolutely nothing to say and that
will be wonderful. It would be the best thing you’ve ever done. To shut up. For you have been talking all of your life and where has it gotten you? Since you were born you’ve been talking, talking, talking, talking, talking and where has it gotten you? This is why you hear about some Sages who are totally silent and never say a word. For the voice has been given to the I. It is the I who talks. It is the I who has a chip on it’s shoulder and always has something to say. The voice box is connected to the I. But if you practice not saying I, removing the I you’ll have very little to say and everything will take care of itself.
This is why self-inquiry works so wonderfully and why we should all practice it.
The best time to practice it is when the I overwhelms you. When you start to say all kinds of things to yourself like, “I feel rotten today. I feel bad. I feel this. I feel that.” Catch yourself and inquire, “Who am I?” That is what you must do. What you are really asking is, “Where does this I come from? Who am I? Who am I?” Never answer that question. For it’ll be your ego answering. The ego, the I, the mind are synonymous. They’re all the same.
If there is no I there will be no mind, no ego. So the practice is to remove the I, to eliminate the I. At the same time we’re killing the ego and the mind.
So every time the I shows it’s head you inquire, “Who am I? Where did you come from I? What gave you birth? From where did you originate?” You have to talk to yourself this way but not loud. Somebody hears you, you’ll be sent to the funny farm. Keep this to yourself. But do it! “Who am I?” The mind will start thinking again. Thoughts will come, “What am I doing this for? I must be crazy?” You’re back to I again. If you can only catch yourself this will be a great start and it will take you further. Catch yourself when you say, “I.” Keep catching yourself always. “Who am I? Who is this I?” That is all you have to do. Is search for the I, the source of the I. And you search for the source by inquiring, “Who am I?” That is how you search for the source of I. When the source reveals itself to you there will be total liberation. For the I will be gone. And so to be liberated you simply have to get rid of the I. But the good news about this thing is as you practice this it has positive results in your life, in your personal life. As I mentioned earlier you will find that you’re becoming more peaceful. The things that used to disturb you will stop disturbing you. You will develop power within yourself. You will feel happy and good. This is a side effect of practicing self-inquiry.
The mind is so powerful in some of us it will make us practice for a half hour for ten minutes or for five minutes and it will stop and it will go back to being I again. You have to catch yourself continuously, continuously. Whenever you use that word I, remember to remember I doesn’t exist. I is my only problem then, “Who am I? What is it’s source?” As you practice this you will be amazed at what happens to you.
But this is your choice. This is your freedom. This is what you have to do for yourself. Most of you have been through the ropes. You’ve been through life’s experiences and you’re coming to the end. Why do you waste your time with the world? When I talk like this I am not referring to giving up this world physically what I mean is why do you react this way to this world? Why do you keep reacting with fear and animosity and the rest of these things most of us go on with. Save yourself from coming back again and again in different bodies. Save yourself totally, completely. Inquire, “Who am I? To whom do these thoughts come? Who thinks? What is the source of my I?” If you do this I can assure you you will become absolutely, totally free.
Let’s do this together now. Close your eyes and observe your thoughts. Do not try to change your thoughts, observe your thoughts. As thoughts come to you ask yourself, “Who am I?” As you keep thinking about this and about that, something tells you, “I’m hungry. I’m thirsty. I’m this. I’m that. I have to go to work tomorrow,” ask yourself, “Who am I?” And remember what you’re saying, “What is the source of the I?”
(short silence)
It’s that time again to play stump the guru. So if you pass the stumpers. We always have a question box on Sunday.
(Q - Mary reads, A - Robert answers)
Q: Do I have a fear of being God?
A: Why do you ask me? Ask yourself. If you have fear you will have fear for everything. Who is God? Is God separate from you? Where does God live? First find out who God is then ask the question if you will be afraid if you call that you are a God. If you were God you would be eternally happy. Have peace and love within you always and you wouldn’t ask that question.
Your real nature is God. You are God already but you don’t know it. You think you’re human you have to ask questions like this. But your real nature is really God. Right now. Right this minute. The reason I think you’re asking this question is because of your upbringing. You still believe in an anthropomorphic deity, a God up in the sky who punishes or throws lightening bolts. When you realize there is no such God then you’ll be happy and free. God is of your own imagination. It is your imagination that is God. See God as yourself. Feel God as yourself by getting rid of the I. When there is no I only God remains. What you call God will be the self. So do not separate yourself from God. There is only God as you. No matter what you maybe experiencing. No matter what you maybe expressing. You are still God. But not the way you’re expressing or feeling. You are the God within without words or thoughts. That transcends your body, your mind, your experiences. You are the God rejoice and be happy. (pause) Next case.
Q: How critical is it to realize your true self this lifetime?
A: It’s not critical at all, who cares? (laughter) This is your ball game. If you don’t care about it why should I, why should anybody else? It’s critical to the extent that if you do not become self realized you will come back again and again and again or go to some other planet or do something as an ego. Your ego, your mind will survive until you realize there is no ego, there is no mind. But until then your ego will be in control so if you realize this or if you understand this you will begin to practice sadhana now. You will practice your spiritual disciplines and work on yourself and put this first in your life. Whatever you put first in your life that is what you become. So if you put first in your life your spiritual practices you will become this. Forget about time. Time doesn’t really exist. It appears to exist. You appear to grow older in time but there really is no time. Put all the energy you use into thinking about other things into your spiritual practices and see what happens.
(pause) Next.
Q: Robert if you do not experience the I-thought who is experiencing this question?
A: Ask…tell me, tell me who is answering the question. There is no question. There is no answer. There appears o be a question. There appears to be an answer. It’s all ego work. It’s all mind work for as long as the I persists. There will always be a question. There will always be an answer. But when the I goes there will be no question and no answer but yet words will appear to be spoken. As I explained before it’s like living in two worlds.
You are the one yet you appear as many. So the person asking the question is your ego and the person answering the question is also your ego. It is only one that asks and answers. It appears as many but there is only one. It’s all going on in your dream. This is your dream.
But you are the witness the observer of the dream. In that dream you’re asking a question and you hear an answer but it’s all a part of your dream. Awaken and be free.
Q: If everything is nothing why the hell does it all look, smell and feel so good. Why did the absolute give us this imagination that is so hard to give up?
A: The absolute never gave you anything. The absolute remains absolute. It is you who feels these things. It is you who feels separate again. It is you who feel that you are mortal. The absolute has nothing to do with it whatsoever. Find out who you are. Discover your true identity. Ask yourself, “Who gave me this body?” By inquiring, “Who am I?” all of these things will become clear to you. You are the absolute. You are the self. You have always been the self. Everything else is like images on the screen. Go within, dive deep within, deeper than you’ve ever dove before by inquiring, “Who am I? Who gave me this mind? Who gave me this body? Who gave me these thoughts? Who gave me these questions?” If you are sincere enough you’ll realize nobody. There is nobody home and you are total consciousness, the absolute. In other words there is nothing going on here at all.
There is no class like this happening. There is no body that appears to be your body. There is no experiences that you’ve ever gone through. Nothing exists the way it appears. Again ask yourself, “Then where did it come from? I don’t want it, where did it com from?” So again you say, “I don’t want it.” It is the I that gives it to you. It’s better to work on the I, removing the I than to feel sorry for yourself or to feel something is wrong or obscure.
Work on getting rid of the I, eliminate the I and then see what you become.
That’s it Robert.
(students ask questions)
SB: Robert when you feel a great joy like when listening to music or when things are going well how do you know whether that joy is from the mind or is seeping in from the self?
R: Do not concern yourself with it. As long as you are doing your home work enjoy the joy. Be happy in the joy. Rejoice in the joy. Do not ask yourself where it came from. The only question you ask about where it came from is the ego, the I. But as far as the joy is concerned rejoice in it, enjoy it. Again if you’re doing your homework then the joy will be the right joy. The one who wants to analyze this and tear it apart is the ego. The ego wants to question, “I wonder if this joy is real or things are really bad and this is a phony feeling. It is the ego that does all of this. But if you’re feeling a semblance of joy bask in it, enjoy it, love it. Never mind where it came from feel this joy is real, feel it’s absolute reality, it is God. It is the real true joy. Enjoy it.
SH: How can something that doesn’t exist at all exist as though it did?
R: Well look back in your dream. When you’re having a dream at night. Everything persists as if it’s real. You go through all kinds of experiences in that dream. In that dream you may be working on yourself trying to become enlightened. And you’re working and working and all kinds of things stop you and wake you up and make all of these things happen to you… (SH: I don’t do all of that in a dream. That’s your dream not mine.) (students laugh) Whatever? it makes no difference what you do. You can dream it, I said imagine this. Dream anything you want in the dream but it’s all a dream. So this is the same thing. There appears to be a persistence… (SH: It appears?) Of course it appears. But it doesn’t really exist. (SH: It has no wit of reality it’s all nonsense.) It’s all nonsense. (SH: It’s all a put on.) Exactly. (SH: A put up. A fake.) It’s all false. (SH: Yeah.) The whole thing is false.
(SH: Well why doesn’t it just disappear then?) It does but you insist on seeing it. (SH: You think I do?) Of course or you wouldn’t be here. (students laugh) It wouldn’t be here if you weren’t looking for it. (SH: I just like to hang out with you.) (laughter) You’re doing that. (SH: Yeah. You’re a good guy.) You’re a good guy too Henry. (SH: Thank you.) Where does this get us? (SH: Nowhere. Gets us where we always were.) (laughter) Exactly. All is well. (SH: Okay.) R: We always go back to the examples of the sky is blue. When there really is no sky and there is no blue. The water in the mirage. There is no water but appears to be so.
The snake in the rope or a rope appears to be a snake. And so it is with this world. It appears to be but nothing is going on there is no world. It never happened. It appears to be so real to some of us. The day will come when you give up this world totally and you will be alive and well. (pause) We have a reading from the Ashtravakra-Gita…(corrects himself) Ashtravakra-Gita, a good Gita, a wonderful Gita.
(tape break for reading)
R: I do not see any prashad. We can’t eat today. No food. Why’d we come here?
(laughter) Oh well. Remember to love yourself. To worship yourself. To pray to yourself.
To bow to yourself. For God dwells in you as you. I love you om shanti. Until we meet again…until we meet again.
Wasn’t that a song “until we meet again.” Isn’t there an old song, until we meet again. (SD: It was on that tape I gave you of Jim Reeves.) Oh. (laughs) Okay folks this is it…
(tape ends)
Absätze ohne Sprecherpräfix gehören dem zuletzt genannten Sprecher — so steht es im Buch, wo der Präfix nur den Anfang einer Rede markiert. Die Zuordnung ist eine Folgerung dieser Ausgabe. Namen in Klammern sind aus dem Text erschlossen: sicher belegt sind SM = Mary, SF = Fred, SJ = Jay, SC = Nate, wahrscheinlich SG = Glen, SR = Jorge. Alle anderen Kürzel bleiben stehen, weil der Beleg nicht trägt.